That’s my most precious memory with grandpa Ralph- him taking me to the pet store to get something for the tank, sometimes a new fish. It seems now that he saved those errands for me when I would stay with them, to have something to do together. 

I’m usually proud of the mother I’m becoming

Not the moments, days or weeks I’ve been frustrated, irritatable

Or overwhelmed

Or touched out.

Who knew that was a thing?

Years of being single and lonely, craving touch even when I became content with my singleness

Compromising for my love language to be satiated

But now little fingers search up and down my arms most of the night

She wants to eat meals in my lap, using my pants as a napkin

She wants me and only me